Locked Out

The other day, Max locked my entire family out of the house. I know, I know, I’m sure you’re all as puzzled as we were as to how he managed it.

Well, Max has this toy. It’s a neon green rubber bone that he loves to carry around in his mouth much like a rich old businessman would carry his cigar.

Only less angry.

The whole Smith family was going out the front door to have a grand old time at the Lakeville movie theater. Max, rubber bone in mouth, stared sadly out the window alongside the door as we drove off down the street.

Two and a half hours and one bucket of popcorn later, we returned home with the leftovers to give to Ruby and Max. (They are great popcorn fiends.) My sister unlocked the door and managed to open it an inch before it stopped. The Smith family ceased its chatter as we stared, puzzled, at the door. My sister gave it another tentative push. Nothing. 

While we struggled, pushed and wiggled the stuck door, Max and Ruby stared at us out the window, happily wagging their tails like this was the best game we had ever invented. As our frustration continued, their glee only increased until they were bounding around like two spring loaded jumping beans.

Finally, we had the sense to use the key pad on the garage door open the garage door and get in that way. It took us entirely too long and involved a lot of…

Now, wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute…what’s the code again?

I just told you the code.

I KNOW, but the door didn’t open.

Did you press the up and down button?

*Scathing look* Of COURSE I pushed the button.

Well, try it again.

*Tries again  with definite up/down button pushing*

*Door opens*

Huh…well, I guess I maybe didn’t push the button.

Five minutes later, we’re all finally inside the house and go to investigate what made our door stick. It turns out that after we had left, Max somehow managed to wedge his neon green bone in the gap between the bottom of the door and the floor. Much like one of those brown wedge-shaped door stops. But neon green. And bone-shaped. And pointing in the wrong direction.

We came to the conclusion that Max was upset we had left him behind when we went to the movie, and after many hugs, kisses, and a solemn promise to never see anything starring Robert Pattenson* without him again, we could sleep safe in the knowledge that we would no longer be locked out of our own house by man’s best friend.

*I don’t actually think the movie had R-Patz in it, but I image that would be Max’s favorite actor. He does have voluminous hair, and sparkles in the sunlight. What more can a guy ask for?