Oh the weather outside is frightful...

And so is my history with blogging.

To appease you all I offer the following tidings of comfort and joy:

Go see Hairy Potter, in theaters now!





We promise it will be better than Batdog: Return of the Sassy Puss.


And finally:




You better get to bed or Santa will never come!

Ruby Says I Need to Post More!

Today, Ruby gave me this look:

She says I need to put more fun Max and Ruby stories up! Well, Max's front foot recently received a manicure and is now half baby blue and half sassy red. He's feeling patriotic and FIERCE!

Ruby's fur has reacted negatively to the humidity and she now has an afro. An all around fashionable day at the Smith House!

Happy 4th of July!!!!

Max and Ruby would like to wish you all a Happy 4th of July....if they weren't so busy hiding under the table from all those crazy fireworks. To celebrate the 4th, here's a video of Max being terrified by some unknown laminated object sliding across the floor. Bon Appetit!

It's for REAL this time guys!

So, it's been noted that I've been failing at keeping you all up to date on the lives and times of Max and Ruby.

But it's for real this time!!! I am actually going to keep you updated with all the hilarious antics that go on during the Smith family summers. So here goes...

Previously, on Smith Family Summer:

Max somehow gets an ear infection. But wait...there's more. He scratched his ear, and then scratched the top of his head and managed to infect that as well! To help it heal, the vet had to shave the top of his head, giving him the hair-do of a monk. Hilarious, but disgusting, which explains why I haven't posted a picture of that here. It's almost grown back in now, and his infection is all healed, so those of you hoping to get up close and personal with the medical mysteries of Max will have to wait until the next one.


Some of you might be aware of Max's affection for the fabric tulle. For anyone unfamiliar with what tulle is, it's most common uses include tutus and voluptuous wedding dresses like this:



A highly appropriate obsession for Maximus, I'm sure we all agree!

Well, Kelly had her birthday on the 11th of June and guess who wanted his present to be wrapped with tulle!? So there was a convenient tulle bow, just begging to be worn by a dashing young man like Max. In fact, it was so tempting, Max decided to wear it on his outing to the dog park the next day. He must have looked very fit and beautified with his new accessory because one of the other males at the dog park mistook our dear Max for a Maxine and made some advances. From the rear. The most shocking part of all of this is that Max didn't realize doggy-homosexuality was unusual until my dad came sprinting across the park to save him. You really do need to wonder how often that happens to Max.

Ruby's life has been relatively uneventful compared those of her counterpart. It's summer in Minnesota after all, and that means hitting the lakes! On her first swim of the season, Ruby swam out about 50 feet and paddled happily around the lake for about an hour before deciding she didn't want to qualify of the Doggie Olympics just yet and came back to shore. She also "rescued" a "drowning" little girl. The little girl was really snorkling, so imagine her surprise when she spotted a giant dog wading towards her through her somewhat foggy goggles. Luckily no fish or children were trampled in the rescue attempt and everyone became the best of friends by the end of the day.

Quite the eventful start to summer, and there's more to come (the July 9th, water workshop for water rescue dogs for example...and yes, Max is invited this year!) so watch out for UPDATES!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RUBY!

Ruby's birthday was April 15, when we were all too busy doing our taxes to blog, so to honor her belated birthday I'd like to present this video of what Max and Ruby can only hope to accomplish. Enjoy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!!!

It's been a while since there was any Max and Ruby activity on this blog, but they are back in business starting with Max's BIRTHDAY! Contrary to popular belief, Max's birthday is not, in fact, on April Fools Day, but this year falls on Easter. We still believe this to be a fitting date since it revolves around resurrection, giant fictitious rabbits that enter your home with baskets of eggs (laid themselves no doubt), and being hopped up on enough sugar to launch a small rocket.

So in honor of Max's birthday, I was granted an interview with the legend himself. Here's the dirt:

Max's favorite activities include (in this order) sleeping, eating, licking Ruby, face massages, tummy rubs and yes, you guessed it, pooing. A typical day for Max usually includes all of these activities, making him the happiest guy in town. After a long period of sleeping, he is usually awoken by Momma Smith who feeds both noodle brains their breakfast. When he's finished, he gets to lick off Ruby's face just in case she decided to wear her food instead of eat it.

This is followed by a trip to the yard so he can take care of his "business" which leaves him content enough to sleep until it's time for Daddy Smith to take him to the dog park. He continues the poo trend here. On a recent trip, my dad commented on Max's regularity saying, "Yeah, he usually goes one...sometimes twice...or as I like to call it, the Bonus Poo!" This trip did include a Bonus Poo.

After the dog park it's time to sleep until everyone is home for dinner which means lots of face smushing and tummy rubs. After people dinner is doggie dinner, leaving just enough time for more face distortion and more tummy rubs before bedtime.

Max's favorite song is Walking On Sunshine. If he were a candy, he would be a Tootsie Pop. He loves to dress up for a fancy evening out, complete with manicured nails (he prefers a subtle silver glitter polish). He enjoys jalapeno tostidos with his evening meal and finds light fixtures, hoses and electrical wiring very appetizing.

He is terrified of Swiffer wet jets as well as the broom and vacuum cleaner. Anything that moves unexpectedly, looks funny, or makes a weird noise is equally terrifying.

So Happy Birthday Max! May you have many more years of noodle-brained happiness!

Let's Play Dress Up!!!

It's not animal cruelty if they like it.

BLANKETS!





























Graceful Ballerina



Elves








Posing for Playboy?







Christmas Bows, Sweaters and much more!

Things My Dogs Have Eaten: Part One

It's part one because, let's face it, it's a never ending list. We'll start with the basics:

Their Food

Some Toes

This Piece of Cloth

My Friend Irene

This Polar Bear

My Knee

Max and Ruby's First Post!

It was suggested that Max and Ruby need their own blog. After further consideration the consensus is in: YES THEY DO! These two noodle-brains need a public forum because their antics are too ridiculous. For those of you who live in the sad world without Max and Ruby, let me recap. Ruby and Max are BFFs. There is really no other term for it. Ruby, my newfoundland is the size of a small horse...maybe even a medium sized one. Max, my golden retriever, is only 2 but has already had to have surgery twice. Once because he ate his own collar. For their very first post, Ruby and Max have requested that we journey back to the days when they were still portable.

Baby Ruby!

Baby Max and Year Old Ruby

3 Month Max

Today!

Max and Ruby would like to thank you for reading their first blog! They assure you, they won't let the fame go to their heads.