Max and the French Fry

Ruby had to go to the vet a few days ago to get her teeth cleaned. For anyone who isn't familiar with doggie dental hygiene practices, they have to put your dog to sleep in order to clean their teeth. Needless to say, Ruby came home stoned, I took pictures, and those will be posted at a later date.

The big news for today is that even in her extremely drugged up state, she managed to eat a french fry.

On the way home from the dentist, my dad stopped for lunch, and saved some french fries for Max and Ruby. Once he got Ruby home, and she'd slept off enough of the anesthesia to stop drooling in her sleep, she received a french fry for being so brave.

Max, who was thrilled to have Ruby home, was prancing around the room with his new favorite toy in his mouth, a large red stuffed lobster. My sister found it at Costco and insisted Max would adore the lobster. And she was right, he loved that thing right up to the day he finally tore it into enough tiny pieces to extract the squeaker from inside.

But, at this point, the lobster was still very much intact and in Max's mouth. After giving Ruby a french fry, my dad held one out to Max.

Max toddled over to the french fry and stopped. He started at the french fry. He stared at my dad. He reached forward and sniffed the french fry with his nose. His eyes flicked down to the lobster hanging from his mouth. He began to wag his tail enthusiastically and prance back and forth, looking from the french fry, to my dad, to his lobster.

It was at this point my dad realized Max was trying to figure out how to eat the french fry, but knew this would be impossible while his lobster was still in his mouth. This continued for a little while longer as Max racked his brains trying to figure out how to eat the french fry while keeping his jaws firmly locked around his lobster.

The brain hemorrhage that probably would have resulted from much more of this mental strain was prevented only when my dad reached out and gently took the lobster from Max's mouth and held it as he ate his french fry.

With his delicious treat successfully snacked, Max retrieved his lobster from my dad and went to comfort Ruby who had once again passed out on the living room floor, undoubtedly dreaming magical dreams of dancing lobsters juggling potatoes.

Locked Out

The other day, Max locked my entire family out of the house. I know, I know, I’m sure you’re all as puzzled as we were as to how he managed it.

Well, Max has this toy. It’s a neon green rubber bone that he loves to carry around in his mouth much like a rich old businessman would carry his cigar.

Only less angry.

The whole Smith family was going out the front door to have a grand old time at the Lakeville movie theater. Max, rubber bone in mouth, stared sadly out the window alongside the door as we drove off down the street.

Two and a half hours and one bucket of popcorn later, we returned home with the leftovers to give to Ruby and Max. (They are great popcorn fiends.) My sister unlocked the door and managed to open it an inch before it stopped. The Smith family ceased its chatter as we stared, puzzled, at the door. My sister gave it another tentative push. Nothing. 

While we struggled, pushed and wiggled the stuck door, Max and Ruby stared at us out the window, happily wagging their tails like this was the best game we had ever invented. As our frustration continued, their glee only increased until they were bounding around like two spring loaded jumping beans.

Finally, we had the sense to use the key pad on the garage door open the garage door and get in that way. It took us entirely too long and involved a lot of…

Now, wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute…what’s the code again?

I just told you the code.

I KNOW, but the door didn’t open.

Did you press the up and down button?

*Scathing look* Of COURSE I pushed the button.

Well, try it again.

*Tries again  with definite up/down button pushing*

*Door opens*

Huh…well, I guess I maybe didn’t push the button.

Five minutes later, we’re all finally inside the house and go to investigate what made our door stick. It turns out that after we had left, Max somehow managed to wedge his neon green bone in the gap between the bottom of the door and the floor. Much like one of those brown wedge-shaped door stops. But neon green. And bone-shaped. And pointing in the wrong direction.

We came to the conclusion that Max was upset we had left him behind when we went to the movie, and after many hugs, kisses, and a solemn promise to never see anything starring Robert Pattenson* without him again, we could sleep safe in the knowledge that we would no longer be locked out of our own house by man’s best friend.

*I don’t actually think the movie had R-Patz in it, but I image that would be Max’s favorite actor. He does have voluminous hair, and sparkles in the sunlight. What more can a guy ask for?

Happy 4th of July!!!!

Max and Ruby would like to wish you all a Happy 4th of July....if they weren't so busy hiding under the table from all those crazy fireworks. To celebrate the 4th, here's a video of Max being terrified by some unknown laminated object sliding across the floor. Bon Appetit!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RUBY!

Ruby's birthday was April 15, when we were all too busy doing our taxes to blog, so to honor her belated birthday I'd like to present this video of what Max and Ruby can only hope to accomplish. Enjoy!